A Better Class of "Criminal"........

When the Joker filed in a request for a better class of criminal, I doubt he could have done better than Julian Assange, editor-in-chief of Wikileaks. Well almost. There is that rape and sexual harassment charge he just got arrested for. Then again, it does look like the allegation has been taken out from the pages of a cheap thriller. Come to think of it, Clive Owen sounds less corny saying "..the International Bank of Business and Credit is behind it all", when compared. At the end of it though, one can't really say. Maybe he did, maybe he didn't. His side of the story, however, does sound a wee bit believable. He confesses to having a consensual sexual encounter with two women, but insists that the rape charges are completely fabricated. And it isn't all that hard to see why that makes sense.
 
In his quest for making the world aware, he has ticked off quite a lot of people. The Yanks, bankers, oil men, and politicians, all are out to settle a few scores. Which is no surprise, really. I'd be pissed if I found that someone had uploaded a video of me punching the neighborhood kid and laughing while I'm at it. I'd certainly want to dish out some revenge. In my case though, I think I'll have to look for some other way to get back at him. Accusing him of rape would be......weird!!!!

While the world across debates whether he and his foundation are the new form of journalism or terrorism, it’s more important to ask whether Wikileaks works. Simply put, all this hoo haa, but is it worth the effort? From the looks of it, it pretty much is. For instance in Kenya, December 2002. Mwai Kibaki was sworn in as President, taking over from despot Daniel arap Moi. Kibaki's campaign manifesto was based on, among other things, getting rid of corruption in Kenya. In fact, he swore to clean out Moi for his corrupt practices. On becoming President, he stuck to his word and commissioned risk consultants Kroll Associates to investigate the corruption of Moi and his stooges. The report was completed in 2004, and detailed financial accounts and records showing assets of over $ 2 billion in the UK, the US, Australia, and South Africa belonging to Moi. The report though was never officially published, neither by Kibaki, nor by Kroll. Mostly because he himself was now dogged by a corruption scandal of his own, the Anglo Leasing Scandal. It was however leaked by Wikileaks, that too just weeks before the Kenyan 2007 elections. An election in which Kibaki was running for re-election, that too with Moi's endorsement. Outrage, they said. How could Kibaki pal up with the same guy he vowed to clean up? The answer was pretty simple. Moi is a useful man. He is reputed on being a master tactician. He still commands a huge and loyal following among the masses, and his status as an elder statesman gives him experience unrivaled in African politics. One does not bury a man this useful. In exchange for his endorsement, Kibaki offered Moi protection. The Guardian ran this as a front page story, title The Looting of Kenya. African papers started talking about it. And within a span of days. Kibaki started losing ground. What followed was a hotly contested election with Kibaki winning a second term, but only just. In order to continue as President, he had to form a coalition with Raila Odinga, his opponent, who took over as the Prime Minister. It is this story Assange has been bragging about lately, and rightly so. Changing the way politics works, especially in a continent where politics is far more dynamic and complicated, pretty much proves Wikileaks is much much more than just a TMZ episode starring diplomats.
 
But the problem with Wikileaks I believe is just that. At times, it comes dangerously close to being a paparazzi outfit. Sarah Palin's Yahoo! account details for example. Assange agrees that there are certain legitimate secrets and he would not release them. And I'm pretty sure an email password figures somewhere in that legitimate secrets box, along with diplomatic secrets. In any diplomatic process, secrecy is a requirement, not an option. It is vital for each participant to make honest, often brash assessments of their opponents to arrive at any kind of result.

Within the same lines comes another issue. The fact that Wikileaks is more of an editorial. The Apache massacre video was not put up as it was recorded. It was cut short, edited and given a title, for "maximum political impact", as Assange put it. The original video was available only on request. And viewed by only 1 out of 10 people who had watched the edited version. That, in some ways, makes it a distant cousin of Fox News. My sense of a whistle-blow is an unadulterated, straight forward account of the truth. While I might be naive to think so, it certainly does not make me wrong. Because what I am concerned with is this. From the entire set of data that is available to them, how much of it is actually being published. Assange has already made clear he might unload everything he has. So what all is being held back??? Is the world getting a whistle blower's account or a Glenn Beck bulletin?

Cablegate will no doubt change the way governments handle diplomacy. Like the film, gaming and music industry, it was about time diplomacy learnt the cardinal rule of the internet age. One cannot contain digital information. Especially in a world where anything that is digital is on public domain, already or soon enough.

Around the World in 80 Bucks.......

On the night of December 16, 2009, looking down on the twinkling streets of Malaysia from the window of an A340, I spent my last few minutes in Malaysian airspace wondering if I would ever visit this magical land again. It’s been 10 months since, and I miss the place. I miss Malaysia more than I've ever missed the Arab Emirates. This after spending 17 years of schooling and upbringing in the UAE, versus the four years of undergrad in Malayland. Which meant going back on occasion of the uni convo was a no brainer. And luck went my way as Air Asia was in a generous mood. The guys charged me charged me INR 7000 odd for a round trip from Hyderabad to Kuala Lumpur. Let me repeat that, an AIR ticket, from HYDERABAD to KUALA LUMPUR and BACK, for INR 7000 ONLY. In the same period, the cheapest flight to and fro New Delhi, cost about INR 5000. The KL ticket is, without exaggeration, mighty cheap. For just another 2000 bucks, I get to travel another 1700 km. That too to a place as lovely and beautiful as Malaysia. Brilliant, don't you think!!!!! 

But that’s before you get to know the genius (maybe even cheapness) of Air Asia. I had to pay for my check-in luggage. I need to pay if I want to choose my seats. I need to pay if I fancy their in-flight food. I need to pay if I plan to watch their in-flight entertainment. I need to pay if I want to use their pillow and blanket. And then when they land at the low cost terminal, - taxi and waiting fees for aircraft are lower here -, I get only the bare basic facilities. And in all this lies the beauty of no-frills flying. Because these are things you can do without. Think about it. You have never actually "chosen" your seat. The food usually sucks (except on Sri Lankan, Thai and Jet Air). Half of the people spend their entire time on the flight sleeping, so I doubt they'll miss the in-flight entertainment much. The blanket and pillow always generate static electricity which makes sleeping a nightmare, so you could do without them. And unless you are planning to spend the next 25 years of your life as Mehran Karimi Nasseri, airport amenities don't really matter, do they? In exchange for a cheap air ticket, I'm fine with the airline taking away those luxuries, for the simple reason that, at the end of it all, it is a brilliant bargain. Because the next cheapest ticket on the same route was with Malaysian Air for 13k. That’s nearly twice the amount I paid. Another six grand, just so I have shitty food while watching Robert Downey Jr. blitz the Monaco GP on a 5 inch screen. Not likely!!!! I let go all that, and still am pleased as punch.
  

The low cost carrier model does, however, scare me at times. Especially when guys like Michael O’Leary, CEO of Ryanair, think that cheap fares is all we are looking for. And in pursuit of that cheap fare anything and everything works. His plan of getting rid of co-pilots for instance. Instead, he wants air stewardesses to land planes. Which is fine I suppose, as long as he is willing to personally give hand written replies to each letter he receives from his passengers, mostly complaining how dead they are after taking a Ryanair flight. Because you don't become Chesley Sullenberger by simply attending training sessions. You do so after having tens of thousands of flying hours under your belt. 

An aircraft cockpit, until recently, was manned by three people, the pilot; the co-pilot; and the flight engineer. A young pilot fresh out of the academy would first spend few years as the flight engineer, primarily to manage aircraft flight systems. He would also be watching and learning from the pilots on making split-second decisions, delegation of authority, and landing into airports such as Kai Tak and LaGuardia. Only after enough experience was an engineer allowed to move onto the co-pilots seat. And again as a co-pilot he continued the learning, as both, a protégé of the pilot, and a mentor for the flight engineer. Again, only after spending great amounts of time as a co-pilot, did he get promoted to be a pilot. This state of affairs kept all the three members sharp and kept errors to a minimum, as everyone watched over one another. This also meant that in the event that the pilot is incapacitated, the co-pilot would take over. If both pilots were down, the flight engineer would. Nowadays, a flight engineer is only required on third and early fourth generation aircraft that run older flight systems. New aircraft, like the 777 and the A350, come with computers that take care of flight systems, and correct errors by themselves. So why pay a flight engineer when HAL 9000 is competent enough? Technology replaced a human layer of protection with a layer of artificial intelligence. O'Leary's plan, however replaces thousands of flying hours of pilots and co-pilots with a few hours of a stewardess spent on a flight simulator. 12-year olds spend far more time flying planes on simulators, and I don't see any one letting the kid land the plane. So why a less experienced person should be allowed to just to keep fares low?

Maintaining low fares isn't all that simple. You are paying low because the pilot is being paid peanuts.  How else will they keep prices down??? Again to keep prices low, carriers don't maintain an army of pilots. Fewer pilots fly a larger number of routes, and are pushed so as to get the every last possible bit of flying out of them. This usually means flying twelve to thirteen hours a day. So a pilot during the final legs of his shift is most definitely tired. Increased fatigue lowers concentration and the lower the concentration level, the higher the chance that the pilot will make an error. And that’s when you end up with incidents such as the one in Mangalore. What about aircraft maintenance costs?? Carriers overcome this by maintaining a fleet of the same aircraft. Southwest Airlines maintains only 737s. Air Asia flies only A320s. But if their idea to cut costs is a disregard to passenger safety, by making them stand during flights, you can't help and wonder if they are cutting corners in aircraft maintenance. Dear Mr. O'Leary, please do understand, as it’s not much I ask of. I don't care if you charge me for salted peanuts. What I'm really looking for is exiting the aircraft in the same condition I entered it in, in a single piece, and alive. 

Don't get me wrong, I am all for low fares. I support the "Everyone can Fly" motto. Everyone should. At least once in their lifetime. Sure, charge me for visiting the loo. But I draw the line when you plan to put me in SkyRider seats. I'd rather fly Air India. On second thoughts I'll probably walk.

Speedbird

Man once owned a time machine. A time machine that would transport him to another part of the world, and in half of its trips, would arrive before time had a chance to catch up. Ten years ago it met an unfortunate accident. And that event sent mankind flying into the past.....a good 40 years into the past.

I have been a Concorde fan from ever since I can remember. I could stare at it for hours at end and admire its beauty. I could go on for hours telling you how much of an engineering marvel it is. And I definitely intend to do so.

A scientist at NASA claimed that putting man on the moon was easier when compared to making the Concorde work. Sure, we had the technology to reach speeds in excess of Mach 2 back then. But aircraft which did so were only military. This meant a few hours of flying and then weeks in a hanger going through inspections and maintenance. Pilots had ejector seats and wore oxygen masks. The Concorde on the other hand had to load, take-off, fly 7,000 km, land, unload, load, and take-off again to make the round trip. Then there was the issue of the shock wave at Mach 1. During World War 2, whenever pilots took a dive in their fighters, they would reach speeds perilously close to Mach 1 and their controls would jam. No one knew why. Until the guys who made the Concorde figured that out. And then there was the problem of the engine. Hit the engine fans with air traveling at Mach 2 and they'd crumble like a cookie. This meant while the aircraft would fly at Mach 2, the engines needed to be fed with air at speeds much lower than that, more like 600 km/hr. Then there was the heat, expansion of the parts that comes with the heat, the design, cabin pressure, and a hundred other things. Not to forget the Brits and the Frenchies working together. The Concorde proved that given enough time and money, man could do anything.

I dreamt of flying in it one day. Regardless of the fact that I'd firstly have to be filthy rich, and that when you are flying, you cannot tell if you are doing Mach 2 or 200 km/hr, and thus there is sense of speed, no adrenaline rush. For us to feel speed we need reference points. On the road it’s usually a tree, street lamp, pedestrians, and the lot. The faster you see them pass by, the higher the sensation of speed. At 60,000 feet you don't even have clouds to give you that sensation. But what I regret more is not being able to see it. Fact is, the Concorde was never made for the rich. They were only a means to an end, a means for it to survive financially. It was made for the common man. For you and me to stand and point at it in awe.

Before 2003, the Concorde flew flawlessly. It had one job. Fly. Very fast. And it did it. But just because one airline could not make sure that the nuts and bolts on its aircraft were screwed on tight, on 25 July 2000, Air France 4590 crashed claiming 113 lives. And maybe for the first time since the Titanic, did people mourn the loss of the machine along with the loss of lives.

No matter what excuses were given for it being pulled out of service, the true reason is that it did not look good on the company balance sheets. As great as it was an engineering marvel, it was an even greater financial disaster. The British and French governments incurred a loss every time it flew. The last Concorde made was sold to Air France for one pound.  The Concorde died not because it was a flawed design, or it had reliability issues. It died because it looked bad in the account books. And that is the tragedy of capitalism.

Because rarely have we pushed the limits of our capability and curiosity regardless of its financial cost. The closest man has come to another Concorde moment is the Bugatti Veyron. And here too the story line is very similar to that of the White Bird. A story which I might come back to later. In short, even after a $ 1.7 million price tag, Bugatti incurs a loss for every unit it sells. All this because Ferdinand Piech, the chap who started the project, did not care about the shareholders and profit and loss. He dreamt of a 1000 hp car that did 400 km/hr. And he made it possible. 

Sure, there are projects right now that are exploring supersonic civilian travel. Embraer is currently designing a corporate jet, the Japs are at it too. But none will be as wonderful as the Concorde. Because that represents mans battle and victory against politics and more importantly, nature. Right now a group is undertaking restoration work on the White Bird. Their plan : make it air worthy for the 2012 London Olympics. And if this happens, as crazy as I might sound, I actually might book my tickets for London just to see it fly. Because clearly, a museum or a desktop wallpaper is no place for a machine such as that. 

 In remembrance of the victims of Air France Flight 4590.

Early to bed, early to rise might not make you all that wise........

......neither has it made me any more healthier, but I guess that has more to do with my eating habits and not my sleeping patterns. And if a Mullah Nasruddin tale is anything to go by, fat chance it will make you any wealthier.

There are loads of versions of the same story. Early to bed early to rise, early bird gets the worm, and so on. Aristotle and Benjamin Franklin were supporters of the practice. Religion too advocates it. But Satoshi Kanazawa, an evolutionary psychologist at London School of Economics, suggests sleeping and waking up early is the practice of idiots. Well those aren't exactly his words. His theory goes something like this:

     "....the Savanna-IQ Interaction Hypothesis suggests that less intelligent individuals have greater difficulty than more intelligent people with comprehending and dealing with evolutionarily novel entities and situations that did not exist in the ancestral environment.  In contrast, general intelligence does not affect individuals’ ability to comprehend and deal with evolutionarily familiar entities and situations that existed in the ancestral environment."

It is this theory he applies to human sleeping patterns. His whole article is here. My understanding of it is below.

Artificial lighting in general is only a recent discovery. Night time before the invention of artificial light wasn't the best for mankind. The human eye does not see well in limited light, therefore our ancestors refrained from nocturnal activity. They preferred staying groups and away from wildlife. None ventured out at night for the fear of getting mauled by a tiger. Which is why man worked from sunrise to sunset, and did nothing at night. Except the Danes and the Finns. They were usually up practicing a socially accepted tradition called 'premarital sex'. Refraining from nocturnal activity is therefore what Kanazawa refers to as 'ancestral practices'.

And staying up late is what he describes as an 'evolutionary novelty'. Those ancestral conditions do not exist now. Fire, the light bulb and electricity are all now part of our lives. We have killed all the tigers and the ones that survive are caged and have gone mad. This negates the need of not doing anything at night. As Kanazawa puts it, nocturnal humans have adapted to changes in their environment, and therefore predicts intelligent individuals are more likely to stay up late than less intelligent individuals.

I'd love to justify staying up late night and making up the lost sleep during the day. But the truth is brains do work better early in the morning. Plus most of what he bases his theory on doesn't really sound right. What suits you guys better? Early mornings or late nights?????

Link List:

1. Are Night Owls more Intelligent than Morning Larks.

2. The Savanna Principle

Your Soul, Wall Street, Women and Corrupt Kids

More than two weeks since my last update, and a lot has happened. Well, except me getting the time to sit down and put my thoughts together for a new post. I have however put together a list of interesting reads. Should keep you company until the time I'm back with something new......enjoy!!!!

1. Have you sold your soul yet?

2. Wall Street doesn't understand Wall Street.

3. What if Women ran Wall Street?

4. Bribing Kids

5. Why a falling maternal death is bad.....(for some).....

The Mad Daughter of a Wise Mother........

The upbringing my family provided me in Dubai and my experiences in Kuala Lumpur gave me a certain lack of concern over the apparent bad luck derived from walking under ladders or a black cat crossing the road. Nor do I understand the strange correlation between fighting siblings and snipping scissors and all other superstitions. Which made me believe that such folk lore may have long been dead (probably because they didn't look at both sides before crossing the road, one of the deadliest superstitions in the book). But here, in Hyderabad, they are alive, and very much too.


Here, I can't clip my nails at night, neither can I read a book lying on my stomach, nor can I show affection to a new born by touching its nose, among a list of other things I can't do on a full moon night and can do on a sunny afternoon. And this blind belief in pointless drama is not helped by the trust we put in witch doctors. I met one who claims the blood of a sacrificed goat can solve marital trouble. Superstition is to religion what astrology is to astronomy: the mad daughter of a wise mother, or so said Voltaire. So why not synchronize our watches right now and see how many of what follows will be accepted as traditional reactions in the year 2020.


If you see a man picking his nose at a traffic signal : Roll down your window and tap the roof of your car thrice to drive away evil spirits a good dig will release. If a red car overtakes you from your left chant multiplication tables from six to nine. If you see a friend you have been avoiding for years walking towards you, and this is real bad luck, rub your chin and talk gibberish till he or she walks past. If a black cat walks under a ladder touching wood on a moonless night on Friday the 13th : do nothing. If you have had seven years without bad luck, break a mirror. If you see a dog  getting itself acquainted to a lamp post in its uniquely original way, grab hold of the first person you see next and lock your little fingers.  In some cultures it is bad luck to see your wife before the wedding, in others, it bad luck to do so afterwards. In any case throw a pinch of rock salt over your shoulder.

The Economics of Love......

Agreed economics is a social science, but this is taking it too seriously......

http://www.ft.com/cms/s/2/af6e4426-3958-11df-8970-00144feabdc0.html

Booby traps and spice of death.....

http://freakonomics.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/03/29/weapons-get-weirder-and-weirder/

Soil errosion of a different kind.....

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/asia/article7071243.ece

Up, Down, Sideways, Don't Care as Long as it Loads.........

There might not be survey proving this theory, but I guess the most common verbs in the recent centuries would have been 'work' and 'love'. The former is a result of the Industrial Revolution, the latter Karan Johar's bidding. We also breath, eat, brush, drive and do a host of other things, but those two words somehow sum up two distinct ages of man. Now another word has entered our language that says more about our current status than any other; 'download'. Its a strange word, after all when ever has loading suggested a direction. But logic was never a strong point of wordsmiths.

So now you can download your daily newspaper, information on you favorite movie star, prices of stuff you want to buy, and practically everything else. For years mobile phone manufacturers have wondered how to turn dead time into their profit, and now they have an answer. You download games when you have nothing else to do. Traveling on a train, what better way than a game to discourage neighbors from getting too friendly? When phones begin to multi-task, we need to do the opposite.('Anti-task'?) The word hasn't been invented yet but remember, you read it first here. 

Soon we will have phones which activate another phone to download games. All those centuries ago, Archimedes boasted ' Give me a lever long enough and a place to stand, and I can move the earth.' Today he will ask for a mobile and a clear line, and he will download anything. "Don't speak to your friend, download him," manufacturers will say, and for the price of a local call you can shake hands with the person you are calling. Of course, if you get a wrong number or download someone who is having a bath there will be trouble, but someone will discover a way to upload these mistakes soon enough.

Airtel vs. Docomo

Currently on Indian TV airwaves are two set of ads, which are alarmingly similar, except for the fact that they are actually quite different. They teach us how to kiss lecturers bottoms, break-up with girlfriends, manipulate fathers, stand up for friends, the lot. And all that just to prove who offers a better mobile network service. To know what I'm talking about, follow the links below.

Airtel

1. Ass Kissing

2. Mommy's Boy

3. Like Father, Unlike Son

4. The Proposal

5. The Convincer

Docomo

1. Need for Speed

2. Knockout Punch

3. Sharing is Caring

4. The Breakup

Now this in now way is a debate on which is a better service provider. I don't really care. What interests me more are the two different paths chosen by two different companies to talk to the same bunch of audience, 17-25 year olds. Airtel uses Sharman Joshi and his likable charm. Tata for its Docomo campaign chooses an unknown group of pretty boys and girls. Unfortunately for Tata, their ads fail to connect. Yes you do give a chuckle when its on, but they don't make you smile. The Docomo ads stars are people who run remote controlled car races in parking lots, who break-up with cute looking girls at the sight of  hot leggy chicks, have friends who own convertibles. Not something I and many of you do. And that's what Airtel does better.You actually relate to Sharman and his situation in these ads. No, I correct myself. You and I have been in the same situation before. You HAVE buttered your lecturer, you HAVE extorted your father for extra cash, you HAVE pulled off the shopkeeper con with your mom. And I'm fairly certain if you haven't dealt with a difficult sibling of your girlfriend/boyfriend, you certainly have seen friends do so. Because of which I smile every time I see the Airtel ads. And that is essential for a campaign. The best of the ad campaigns have achieved cult status because, among other things, they in some way or the other appeal to the audience. Energizer, Coke, Nike, Apple and Volkwagen all did that, in their own diverse and interesting ways. And with Sharman Joshi, so does Airtel.

Which campaign does better in pulling crowds or retaining their existing customers is another story all together. Only time will tell. Me though, I'm happy my Airtel connection for now.

Why global warming is good......

http://blog.foreignpolicy.com/posts/2010/03/24/another_problem_solved_by_global_warming

The Curious Case of Jenson Button.......

Jenson Button has made it a habit of never being at the right place at the right time. His move from Brawn, where he was World Champion, to the McLaren Mercedes team doesn't seem to be working for him - as of yet. Which makes his title defense that more of a challenge.

Unfortunately for Button, credit for his wins has, more often than not, gone to the car he drives rather than his set of driving skills. On the other side of the same coin though, Button has progressed up the ranks of motor-racing winning the one odd race, in highly underpowered or aerodynamically inefficient cars. In his first nine years of Formula One, he had only 15 podium finishes. He had to wait for six years to record his first win. It is not that he lacks the skills or is slower than his rivals. On his day he can outrun any of the other drivers, provided he gets a perfect car. Without a perfect car, Button struggles. THAT has been made pretty obvious throughout his career. And this very fact is what makes the 2010 Formula One season a huge challenge for McLaren and its all-English line-up. Because his team mate, Lewis Hamilton, has been backed by McLaren ever since his teenage years as their protege. And both have very very different driving styles. Hamilton likes a twitchy car with a loose end, Button likes a more composed car. Can a team come up with two cars to suit two opposite driving styles of their drivers? Or are they going to prefer one over the other? And it is fairly obvious who will be the 'special one'. McLaren insist they treat both drivers the same. But McLaren's past with Alonso, Alain Prost and David Coulthard begs to differ.

So what made Button leave Brawn? Two factors actually. His desire for a pay rise and Mercedes desire to field an all German team to win this years F1. After the 2009 season ended, Mercedes purchased Brawn GP, a move which made no real sense. While Honda, Toyota and BMW have left F1 citing the recession and high costs of racing, Mercedes went ahead to run not one but two teams - Vodafone McLaren Mercedes and Mercedes GP Petronas. Issue is, Merc can't weasel their way out of the McLaren deal until 2015 so they are stuck with them, and according to the Germans its cheaper to race now than it was in 2008. Their choice of drivers too made no sense either - except the fact that both are German. They brought Schumi out of retirement and chose Nico Rosberg, who in his four years has done nothing to prove he is part of the elite clan.

In the meantime Button,  after winning the 2009 championship, was looking for a pay rise. Back in 2008, Honda pulled out from Formula One. Button was left with no car. The samurai had no master. In came Ross Brawn with a management buy-out of Honda, created Brawn GP and offered Button the job as lead driver in a highly competitive Merc powered car. The catch - Button was to take a pay cut. With no choice, Button took the deal. But after winning in 2009, his market value increased. And so did his desire to get a raise. And that didn't fly well with ze Germans. Eventually, they let him go.

So how will this season turn out? Exciting I pray. F1 2010 has new rules. New rules mean new tactics. I'm looking forward for more over-takings and down to the wire finishes. That's how F1 should be. In those terms the Bahrain GP did disappoint. I don't really care much for Schumi's return. To me no German can match a Scandinavian's skill, (have you ever heard of a Deutsche Flick? NO!! Coz there is no such thing. There is however something called the Scandinavian Flick)  a South American's daredevilry or a Brit's passion for the sport. And since my favorite Kimi 'Iceman' Raikkonen has left F1 for WRC, I  wish Button does good. And I really really hope McLaren finish this season with a 1-2 win.

How to manipulate markets in 10 minutes......

Excerpts from Michael Lewis's Liar's Poker:

Trading money was none the less trading. It required at least one iron testicle and the same logic as bond trading. One day Dall was in the market to buy (borrow) $ 50 million. He checked around and found the money market was 4 to 4.25 percent, which meant he could buy (borrow) at 4.25% or sell (lend) at 4%. When he actually tried to buy $50 million at 4.25%, however, the market moved to 4.25 to 4.5. The sellers were scared off by a large buyer. Dall bid 4.5. The market moved to 4.5 to 4.75 He raised his bid several more times with the same result, then went to Bill Simon's office to tell him he couldn't buy money. All the sellers were running like chickens.

"Then you become the seller", said Simon.

So Dall became the seller, although he actually needed to buy. He sold $50 million at 5.5%. He sold another $50 million at 5.5%. Then as Simon had guessed, the market collapsed. Everyone wanted to sell. There were no buyers. "Buy them back now", said Simon when the market reached at 4%. So Dall not only got his $50 million at 4% but took profit on the money he had sold at higher rates. That was how a Salomon bond trader thought. He forgot whatever it was he wanted to do for a minute and put his finger on the pulse of the market. If the market felt fidgety, if the people were scared or desperate, he herded them like sheep into a corner, then made them pay for their uncertainty. He sat on the market until it puked gold coins. Then he worried about doing what he wanted.

Ban the Bores......

The whole of the Indian fashion industry is up in arms. This because the Information and Broadcasting Ministry decided to ban FTV for airing topless models. Had they made the ruling because the content was boring, they might have had everyone's gratitude. It would not have been cultural arrogance then, but merely a friend suggesting what shows to avoid. This censorship, however, meant that even people who have never heard of the channel, or never actually watched it, began to miss it. That is the power of censorship - it can make you miss things that you never ever thought even existed.

In a way censoring boring content makes real good sense. Morality, or emotional disturbance or political incorrectness should no longer be the basis of censorship. Rather, it should be based on the sheer inability of material to entertain or inspire people. With that in mind the first piece of 'entertainment' that should go is Kuch Kuch Hota Hai. Making song and dance, fist fights and car chases about love stories, I can bear. And even if the movie has none of those, I would still appreciate it. Before Sunrise and Before Sunset for example. But if KKHH was love, no wonder most of the people I know are opting for arranged marriages. And here's the disturbing part. The movie was watched by more people and won more awards than the others. So much for my taste in movies.

This brings me to an interesting observation. Its fine when you like the movies everyone likes. Or dislike movies everyone hates. But its far more interesting to discuss movies which you loved but everyone else hated, or the other way round. The Aviator for instance. Along with Scarface,  I Am Sam, Avatar and My Name Is Khan. Aviator and Scarface were far too long, I Am Sam was just like it's Bollywood cousin, Main Aisa Hi Hoon, completely pointless, I appreciate Avatar more for its use of technology to tell a story, not much for its story telling, My Name Is Khan came too late to the 'Muslims in post-911 world' scene and didn't do or say anything new what previous movies such as Shoot on Sight, Traitor and the like did or said. So why not ban them. Along with FTV of course.

What do you say?????

Why does NASA launch space shuttles from such a weather-beaten place?

http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=space-shuttle-weather-florida

Mayday-Mayday-Mayday......

After four posts I'm kinda struggling to come up with a fifth one. Which is why I ask you to help me out a bit. You've seen the my previous posts and the utter lack of a unifying theme among them. So any idea will do......the floors all yours folks!!!!!

It is cheaper to smoke if you're female......

http://freakonomics.blogs.nytimes.com/2007/11/16/when-a-pack-of-cigarettes-costs-222/

The world is as real as Middle-Earth......

It has now been established that a global warming report was made up so that Ronald Emmerich could make another movie about exploding mountains. For those who don't have a clue of what I'm talking about, here is a short summary :

In 2007, a panel under the United Nations won a Nobel Prize for a report which suggested, among other things, that the Himalayan glaciers would melt away and completely disappear by 2035. Half of the world's population lives off rivers stemming from these glaciers; The Yellow River, the Yangtze, the Indus and the Ganges. So when a report wins a Nobel Prize for saying that more than three billion people will wake up on January 1, 2036 and not be able to take a bath, heads are bound to turn and eyebrows will be raised. Then in January 2010, The New Scientist magazine said that the magic number 2035 had no scientific backing. So where did the number come from?

Tracing it backwards it came from a World Wildlife Fund report from 2005 named 'An Overview of Glaciers'. But these panda huggers won't just put in any number without getting their science right. True. They got it from a 1999 New Scientist article by Fred Pearce titled 'Flooded Out'. So a pop science magazine must have done its homework before announcing doomsday. It sure did. They contacted Syed Hasnain of Jawaharlal Nehru University in Delhi, the chief author of the International Commission on Snow and Ice and asked him a few questions and he happily obliged. But now he says that he was simply speculating and did not do any actual scientific research. And that's what the whole fuss is all about.

Which brings me to my main point. Al Gore tells me that the internal combustion engine and CO2 is what is causing global warming, Levitt and Dubner say that its not carbon dioxide but methane from cow farts that's baking the planet. Then Sir Ian Rankin in his book, Doomsday Just Ahead tells me that its neither of the gases that are the culprit but that the last Ice Age was caused by polar shifting and that it is happening again. And when it does happen again, the North Pole will be in Timbuktu, the equator will be Poland and the South Pole will be in Ouagadougou. Leonardo Di Caprio tells me that buying a Prius will allow me to enjoy barbecues at Jumeirah beach because it will stop Greenland from melting and thus not flood the low lying areas and then Jeremy Clarkson tells me that there is no point of buying a Prius because all the pollution caused by mining the nickel for the car battery, processing it, shipping the processed nickel to Japan and then shipping the finished product to the point of purchase will already have melted Greenland to the size of the Vatican City and I can't have that barbecue anyway. And everyone says that they made all these statements on a sound scientific and empirical basis. All this makes no real sense. Its like saying 1 + 1 equals Paris Hilton. One can't wait to conclude that this is, in fact, all being made up.

Which makes me wonder what other part of past, present and future has been made up and have been accepted as norm because no one asked questions? In 1993, a U.S. soldier's body was dragged through the streets of Somalia in what was considered American military's biggest fiasco. President Bill Clinton called it America's 'darkest hour'. But director Ridley Scott has converted that into one of America's brightest hours in Black Hawk Down. Its only our imagination that limits us. It leaves little to wonder why Hasnain made his numbers up. Once we start re-writing history, now and the future, it is fun.

Historians have been telling us for decades that Babur founded the Mughal dynasty, but in fact what he actually did was discover the laws of gravitation. Asoka was the first important leader of a political coalition. Later, as we all know, he won the junior Wimbledon, and his brothers Vijay and Anand lost in the doubles semifinal. Vijay went on to become a great commentator while Asoka went on to become a terrible movie.

There is another silly rule which says the area of a circle is pi times radius squared. Off with that rule: henceforth, all circles shall have the same area. And while on the subject, let us decide that action and reaction need not be equal and opposite. That is Newton's third law of motion, and we have been following it for too many years. It is time for a change. Maybe one or the other, equal or opposite, not both simultaneously.

Why stop at that? Let us make up geography, physics, chemistry, the lot. Too language English the maybe.

The Piracy Paradox - How piracy is good for business

Came across an interesting link.......

http://www.newyorker.com/talk/financial/2007/09/24/070924ta_talk_surowiecki

Toothpaste or Shepherd’s Pie........

Who says there is nothing new to say about toothpaste? A toothpaste maker now tells me that there is nothing non-veg about their product. This immediately takes my mind to images of other toothpastes using minced meat, chicken legs and fried fish in their tubes. I will never look at a tube of toothpaste the same way ever again.

This has led to a movement of sorts. A movement by producers to make up stuff about their very ordinary product so that it stands out in the market. If this trend catches on we could have supermarket shelves filled with shoes that cannot be poured out of a bottle; shirts that were not worn by jungle men and rice not grown in the Empty Quarter. As all the consumers know, these are major qualities one should look into before making a purchase decision. And if they don't, the ad man will tell them. Here are a few more :

Soft drink that have not killed fishes : This is because no fish would touch a drink with a fishing pole. Even though strictly true, what the advertiser really means is that the drink is not for fishes, neither is it likely to interest anyone in the animal kingdom, including man. The plant kingdom on the other hand might embrace it with open arms as a nutrient supplement.

Books that have not been written by Stephenie Meyer : This is a major selling point of many books. You will be surprised by the number of books that are not about diamond studded vampires.

Soft toys that are not made from insides of farm animals : In fact no toy is made from insides of animals. But by frankly confessing to it, the toy maker gains advantage over others who will have to sell toys under the suspicion that they are using the insides of farm animals creatively.

 Link List:

Toms of Maine saying they support non-animal testing models and what is not in their toothpaste.

How to save Christiano Rolando, SRK, Schumacher and the Advertising Industry from going broke......

So Christiano Ronaldo got himself a million bucks for a Castrol commercial for doing what he does best, making the ball dance to his tune. But I simply don't understand what the advert itself is trying to say. Is it that super bikes running on Castrol oil play footie like him, or if I need that kind of a hairstyle I should ride a bike running on Castrol, or he has a twin who is a races in the MotoGP. I simply concluded that the advert was a complete waste of time, money, resources and talent. And then it dawned on me.......a method to salvage this disaster.

Whenever many of the superstars promote stuff, say like drinking a particular brand of cola, they do it in non-designer, non-branded goods. Would it not make much better sense that while endorsing the cola he simultaneously endorse footwear, glasses, ear-rings, belt, shirt, handkerchief, key ring, toothpick, wristband, itch-cream, forks and knives???? Think about the time and money saved. I'd love to see an all in one advert as such so I don't have to watch 40 other different ads.

This supermarket of ads, with say Shah Rukh Khan for example, wearing shoes, trying to negotiate a pothole (sponsored by the Mumbai Municipality) in his latest car which has in the back seat pens, watches, headbands, a change of shoes, new trousers, milk powder, jam for diabetics, salt, soda, dark glasses, movie posters, socks, two cricket bats, a two-wheeler, a cola drink, a credit card, and a poster from an NGO urging everybody to turn vegetarian lying beside one from the Meat Society explaining why it is important to have meat at least four times a week.

Soon our television screens will be full of such shows. And between a Ronaldo show and a SRK show we might get a short movie break. A movie like Silence of the Lambs would help viewers relax and prepare for a Schumacher show. Remember, you read it here first.

Link List :

1. Cristiano Ronaldo and his Castrol Power1 commercial from YouTube.

Valentine's Day was invented by Hallmark

........and so was Father's and Mother's Day.

Men of history might say Valentine's Day had more to do with a Catholic dude, some soldiers, a hot babe and a box of chocolates.....or maybe it was a love letter, but we all know it was cupid in Pierre Cardin diapers who gave the Hall brothers this gold mine of an idea in the early 1900s. 1500 years of civilization has turned the death of priest into a billion dollar industry. Imagine how pissed the men and women of the Christian faith will be. While they are marking a saint's day by a few prayers, the rest of the world is busy copulating. Now this is not a rant about the same old thing you've billion of times over, "Why only this one day", "V-Days overrated" and the like. It exists, not much one can do about it. Enjoy it if you want, don't if your not interested. I couldn't be any more indifferent to the day itself. Much more fascinating is how Hallmark has widened the field of love from parents, grandparents, sibling and children to neighbors, partners, ex-partners, employers, ex-employers, employees, ex-employees down to the family dog. One can list down close to a dozen of such 'Hallmark Holidays'. What Hallmark has in fact done is turn a simple gesture of love to a socially abiding ritual, with men at bearing most of the brunt. Men on an average spend USD130.34 on V-Day gifts compared to USD65.94 by women. Its even gone as far as a woman turning down a poor blokes marriage proposal coz he showed up on the 14th of Feb without a rose and a teddy. Now I am in no way suggesting women should spend the same or its unfair on men. The male species is expected to express his affection for his female counterpart and go that extra mile, be it by doing the ballet or spending a 130 bucks on a box of chocolates. Its how Hallmark profits from the human condition. Which made me wonder of instances when businesses stood to gain at the others expense. The current financial crisis and events leading to it for example. Not that other peoples misery is their business model. They are somewhat like undertakers, they don't go around killing people but dead people are good for business.

Links List :

1. Birds of Paradise from BBC documentary Planet Earth Episode 8 - Jungles

2.Freakonomics Blog by Levitt & Dubner titled Who Benefits From The Sub Prime Crisis dated 4/2/2008