How to save Christiano Rolando, SRK, Schumacher and the Advertising Industry from going broke......

So Christiano Ronaldo got himself a million bucks for a Castrol commercial for doing what he does best, making the ball dance to his tune. But I simply don't understand what the advert itself is trying to say. Is it that super bikes running on Castrol oil play footie like him, or if I need that kind of a hairstyle I should ride a bike running on Castrol, or he has a twin who is a races in the MotoGP. I simply concluded that the advert was a complete waste of time, money, resources and talent. And then it dawned on me.......a method to salvage this disaster.

Whenever many of the superstars promote stuff, say like drinking a particular brand of cola, they do it in non-designer, non-branded goods. Would it not make much better sense that while endorsing the cola he simultaneously endorse footwear, glasses, ear-rings, belt, shirt, handkerchief, key ring, toothpick, wristband, itch-cream, forks and knives???? Think about the time and money saved. I'd love to see an all in one advert as such so I don't have to watch 40 other different ads.

This supermarket of ads, with say Shah Rukh Khan for example, wearing shoes, trying to negotiate a pothole (sponsored by the Mumbai Municipality) in his latest car which has in the back seat pens, watches, headbands, a change of shoes, new trousers, milk powder, jam for diabetics, salt, soda, dark glasses, movie posters, socks, two cricket bats, a two-wheeler, a cola drink, a credit card, and a poster from an NGO urging everybody to turn vegetarian lying beside one from the Meat Society explaining why it is important to have meat at least four times a week.

Soon our television screens will be full of such shows. And between a Ronaldo show and a SRK show we might get a short movie break. A movie like Silence of the Lambs would help viewers relax and prepare for a Schumacher show. Remember, you read it here first.

Link List :

1. Cristiano Ronaldo and his Castrol Power1 commercial from YouTube.

Valentine's Day was invented by Hallmark

........and so was Father's and Mother's Day.

Men of history might say Valentine's Day had more to do with a Catholic dude, some soldiers, a hot babe and a box of chocolates.....or maybe it was a love letter, but we all know it was cupid in Pierre Cardin diapers who gave the Hall brothers this gold mine of an idea in the early 1900s. 1500 years of civilization has turned the death of priest into a billion dollar industry. Imagine how pissed the men and women of the Christian faith will be. While they are marking a saint's day by a few prayers, the rest of the world is busy copulating. Now this is not a rant about the same old thing you've billion of times over, "Why only this one day", "V-Days overrated" and the like. It exists, not much one can do about it. Enjoy it if you want, don't if your not interested. I couldn't be any more indifferent to the day itself. Much more fascinating is how Hallmark has widened the field of love from parents, grandparents, sibling and children to neighbors, partners, ex-partners, employers, ex-employers, employees, ex-employees down to the family dog. One can list down close to a dozen of such 'Hallmark Holidays'. What Hallmark has in fact done is turn a simple gesture of love to a socially abiding ritual, with men at bearing most of the brunt. Men on an average spend USD130.34 on V-Day gifts compared to USD65.94 by women. Its even gone as far as a woman turning down a poor blokes marriage proposal coz he showed up on the 14th of Feb without a rose and a teddy. Now I am in no way suggesting women should spend the same or its unfair on men. The male species is expected to express his affection for his female counterpart and go that extra mile, be it by doing the ballet or spending a 130 bucks on a box of chocolates. Its how Hallmark profits from the human condition. Which made me wonder of instances when businesses stood to gain at the others expense. The current financial crisis and events leading to it for example. Not that other peoples misery is their business model. They are somewhat like undertakers, they don't go around killing people but dead people are good for business.

Links List :

1. Birds of Paradise from BBC documentary Planet Earth Episode 8 - Jungles

2.Freakonomics Blog by Levitt & Dubner titled Who Benefits From The Sub Prime Crisis dated 4/2/2008